Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, "Lord, and what will this man do?"
Jesus saith unto him, "If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me."
John 21:21,22
In the last chapter of John, Jesus had a talk with Peter, telling him he would become a martyr. John was there as well, following, and that's when Peter turned around and saw him, and asked Jesus what his fate would be. Jesus basically tells Peter to mind his own business.
Ouch, right?
I don't know what Peter's motive was for asking about his friend, whether he was worried about him, or whether he was feeling a little bitter, being told that he'd die a martyr's death. After the episode just a couple chapters back where Peter denied Jesus, right after saying he'd be willing to die for Him, he's probably still pretty contrite, so it seems like a fair guess that Peter's motive for asking was well intentioned. Still, Jesus tells him bluntly not to worry about John, just worry about following Jesus.
When I question other people's lives and wonder how everything seems to come so easy to them, my motives aren't always that good.
I see fellow Christians, and it seems to me that they've been handed everything they need on a silver platter. I see them breeze through routine things that are a part of life, while I struggle and agonize over those same things. They probably think the same thing of me, of course. That I live a charmed life in a beautiful house with a great marriage, two cars in the garage, dogs, chickens, a garden, and a Kindle full of e-books. They haven't been inside my head to know the things that I cry over and struggle with, the things that are killing me inside. Things that they would just shrug off and say "Why is that a problem?" Meanwhile, while I'm internalizing everything, I look at them and think, how can you be so blind that you don't care?
The truth is, they can't see fully what's going on with me, all the ways God is working in my life, and I can't see their internal world, and what is truly going on below the surface with them. So to let myself be jealous, or to question when it seems like I carry burdens that no one else does, is to question God's grace. Why does so'n so get more than I do? Why is it so easy for them?
Well, A: It isn't necessarily easier for them. They have struggles and burdens I can't see. B: They might be struggling less because they're obsessing less. Or because they understand more. C: It's none of my business.
Who knows the mind of God? Who can listen to what He whispers into any heart but their own? That thing that you just can't forgive because What's-His-Name just doesn't seem repentant? Well, what "seems" to be going on in his head is none of your business. Your business is to do what Jesus asks of you, namely, forgive. When you gossip about that other friend because she went back to doing that, that's not helping her. That's just ruining someone else's good opinion of her, and who knows if that person to whom you whispered your gossip would have offered some encouragement to your friend that would have helped her, if they hadn't been turned off by your words?
All I'm saying here, is that you and I just don't know enough to make assumptions about whether God is treating someone else better or worse. What we know is what He's told us individually: Follow Me. Love each other, encourage each other, teach each other, even offer correction when necessary, but at the end of the day, you can't change them, and you can't change God, and sometimes questioning His designs for someone else can lead to bitterness and distrust.
On a side note, I've found this really true in my life on a professional basis, with juggling my writing career, waitress job, and homemaking responsibilities. I see other people who seem so much more successful ALL THE TIME, in all of those areas. They're better homemakers, better at pursuing a money making career, or they're living the creative life, publishing books and apparently holding their dreams in their hands.
Dwelling on other peoples' success ALWAYS makes me unhappy and dissatisfied with where I'm at. I wonder: 'What's wrong with me?' 'What am I even doing here?' I'm thirty years old and still a waitress at a small town restaurant. My mother-in-law (and pretty much everyone else) can run circles around me when it comes to keeping things organized, clean, planned, and put together. I read homemaking blogs about menu planning and it makes me see red. I have to remind myself that that's their life. They're living out their own struggles and callings, just like I am. And the things that I've gone through and the things that don't come easy for me, the dreams that I'm still longing for, they make me uniquely me. They make my relationship with my Lord unique. And that makes me a piece of God's puzzle that can't be replaced or duplicated. I'm not like everyone else, and no one else is like me, but we still fit together, and fill a hole no one else could.
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