For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11
I like the way the NKJV puts it: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
By way of disclaimer, I have to admit I'm not super polished up on my studies in Jeremiah. Basically it's back and forth, warning of God's judgement, but promising to bless and restore, if only God's people will come back to Him. There's such a sense of longing woven throughout the books of the prophets. How deeply and passionately God longs to lavish blessing on His nation, if only they would turn back and seek Him.
I've had my share of floundering in doubt, fear, worry, depression and frustration. It always seems to cycle back. So lately I've been praying intentionally, seeking to know God, and His perfect love which supposedly casts out fear. How does one go about acquiring it? One of the things He's brought to my attention was this verse, and it's profound, far-reaching implications.
The English word for love is a little stilted. It's a one-size-fits-all label to include all the aspects that love can have. But the most powerful, most profound, and probably the most misunderstood form of love, (what Bible people call Agape), is what's called 'unconditional love.' Has a nice sound, no? To be loved unconditionally. No matter what I do, how I mess up or offend or even lash out at the giver, to be loved no matter what. Everyone together now with a big "AWWWW." But it's much more than that. Not only is this love not depended on the condition of the receiver- it's also independent from the condition of the giver. To love someone unconditionally means that you love them even when you don't feel love. Or like. Or even toleration. It mean that you love them even when you hate their guts.
So if unconditional love doesn't involve a feeling, what does it involve?
It's all about actions. Treating the person you love unconditionally as though you love them, even when you don't. Looking out for their best interest, even when they're walking all over you. Training yourself to think the best toward and about them that you possibly can. It's wishing, hoping, planning and praying for the best possible outcome of that person's future. But not stopping at "wishing them well," either. Putting feet to that wish. Striving to make it happen by whatever resources you have.
I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord.
The God of the universe has bent His thoughts toward me. Not only to wish me good luck, but to plot and to scheme for my best possible future. Even when I mess up horribly- which, being human, is pretty much my entire life- He still is going to do whatever it takes to see those plans happen.
That's pretty great, but it's not all. Think about this. The God who arranges molecules not only is working on a plan for my future, He's taken pains to carefully and purposefully think that future through. And because He knows all about everything, He can take into account every detail of my hopes, dreams, personality, and passion. He has figured out exactly what the best thing for me will look like.
That's what God's thoughts are toward each of His people. To give peace, hope, and a future. But we're supposed to be reflecting that toward each other, as well. How many times have you or I prayed "Lord, please bless so-n-so," without bothering to give much thought toward what that blessing could look like. We aren't omniscient like He is, but we can still respond with the knowledge that we have, no matter how small it is- imagining, then praying, then, if circumstances allow, acting upon, that resolution to seek the very best for another person. Make an intellectual, creative investment in them. Spend some of your precious time wishing, planning, and praying for their wellbeing. After all, that's what God does for you.
Trying to act out that unconditional love toward another Christian isn't just what we're commanded to do, though. It gives us an idea of the effort God is putting into us. Only His is on a vast scale. Trying to act out God's love for me toward my friend gives me a better grip on the concrete reality of His love. It brings it out of the sphere of theology and philosophy (in my head I know that God says He loves me), and puts it into the realm of the physical (I can touch, see, feel, and experience it).
If I can, in my imperfection and minuscule scope of knowledge and influence, genuinely wish and seek the best for someone through prayer and actions... then how much more capable is God, who went so far as to die for my soul, of carrying out His greatest ideas for me?
Friday, September 16, 2016
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Unraveled by Words
Every month or two I end up taking a week or so off - by which I mean, not work on writing or extra housework for a couple days when I'm actually home. Usually it happens when something goes wrong, like last week, when I had the little bit of a tummy bug my loving hubby shared with me, and then didn't sleep for three days, thanks to feeling yucky and that dratted full moon. Or because there's just too much going on and my introverted soul is burnt out. Anyway, regardless the cause, I'm learning to accept it as a good thing, rather than beat myself up and feel guilty, which has always been my go-to response in the past. Instead I'll painstakingly pick out a new book or book series on Kindle and binge read. I used to find a TV series to watch, but I've found that that doesn't really do anything other than pass time. Reading renews my imagination and heals my heart like watching movies never could. And taking time out to do that is so refreshing and necessary.
So last week, as I was saying, ended up being one of those recharging weeks, or part of it anyway. There were still a million projects going on, which have carried over into this week, keeping me way too busy for comfort. But in the in-between times I've been working my way through a new series I discovered: The Staff and the Sword by Patrick W. Carr. I just finished the last one yesterday.
This has been one of those book series that picks up my world off its foundations and then shatters it. Every once in a while one of those will come along, and usually it's when I'm not expecting it. I read the description of the first book, A Cast of Stones, and nothing about it shouted "You will be destroyed!" but here I am, reeling and wondering what hit me.
As a writer I can appreciate good writing, perhaps on a deeper level than most, since I understand what goes into it. As an intuitive personality type, where literally every thing I think about is connected to every other thing, all it takes at times is a spark of an idea to start that blaze going. Well, this book had more than a spark waiting for me. Its themes of sacrifice and service are so achingly and beautifully presented, over and over again, ideas and images and scenes building upon each other into a crescendo as sharp and powerful as a sword thrust... I think it has touched every area of thought for me, from life, to faith, to philosophy, to worldview, and more than anything else, my own writing. As if I'd been painting portraits with finger paints, and then one day someone showed me the work of Da Vinci or Michelangelo, and now suddenly I'm just like "What am I even doing here? I have no right to wield the tools of my craft."
I suppose every once in a while it's good for a writer to be humbled. To find something to strive toward. There have been other authors and other books that have humbled me. But why does it at times have to feel like being undone? It's hard to pick myself up after one of those times and move on, when I feel like the meaning and the reason behind my own writing has been completely obliterated. It sends me seeking. Digging deeper. Crying while I drive or staring off into space until Hubby thinks I've finally lost it. In the end, I suppose, it makes me stronger. It makes me ask questions of myself, as a writer and as a person. It leaves me unsatisfied with myself, striving for more. Those are all good things, I guess. But my goodness, why's it have to feel like being a bug splattered on a windshield?
So last week, as I was saying, ended up being one of those recharging weeks, or part of it anyway. There were still a million projects going on, which have carried over into this week, keeping me way too busy for comfort. But in the in-between times I've been working my way through a new series I discovered: The Staff and the Sword by Patrick W. Carr. I just finished the last one yesterday.
This has been one of those book series that picks up my world off its foundations and then shatters it. Every once in a while one of those will come along, and usually it's when I'm not expecting it. I read the description of the first book, A Cast of Stones, and nothing about it shouted "You will be destroyed!" but here I am, reeling and wondering what hit me.
As a writer I can appreciate good writing, perhaps on a deeper level than most, since I understand what goes into it. As an intuitive personality type, where literally every thing I think about is connected to every other thing, all it takes at times is a spark of an idea to start that blaze going. Well, this book had more than a spark waiting for me. Its themes of sacrifice and service are so achingly and beautifully presented, over and over again, ideas and images and scenes building upon each other into a crescendo as sharp and powerful as a sword thrust... I think it has touched every area of thought for me, from life, to faith, to philosophy, to worldview, and more than anything else, my own writing. As if I'd been painting portraits with finger paints, and then one day someone showed me the work of Da Vinci or Michelangelo, and now suddenly I'm just like "What am I even doing here? I have no right to wield the tools of my craft."
I suppose every once in a while it's good for a writer to be humbled. To find something to strive toward. There have been other authors and other books that have humbled me. But why does it at times have to feel like being undone? It's hard to pick myself up after one of those times and move on, when I feel like the meaning and the reason behind my own writing has been completely obliterated. It sends me seeking. Digging deeper. Crying while I drive or staring off into space until Hubby thinks I've finally lost it. In the end, I suppose, it makes me stronger. It makes me ask questions of myself, as a writer and as a person. It leaves me unsatisfied with myself, striving for more. Those are all good things, I guess. But my goodness, why's it have to feel like being a bug splattered on a windshield?
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Minding Your Own Business: Creative Life Devotional Series
Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, "Lord, and what will this man do?"
Jesus saith unto him, "If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me."
John 21:21,22
In the last chapter of John, Jesus had a talk with Peter, telling him he would become a martyr. John was there as well, following, and that's when Peter turned around and saw him, and asked Jesus what his fate would be. Jesus basically tells Peter to mind his own business.
Ouch, right?
I don't know what Peter's motive was for asking about his friend, whether he was worried about him, or whether he was feeling a little bitter, being told that he'd die a martyr's death. After the episode just a couple chapters back where Peter denied Jesus, right after saying he'd be willing to die for Him, he's probably still pretty contrite, so it seems like a fair guess that Peter's motive for asking was well intentioned. Still, Jesus tells him bluntly not to worry about John, just worry about following Jesus.
When I question other people's lives and wonder how everything seems to come so easy to them, my motives aren't always that good.
I see fellow Christians, and it seems to me that they've been handed everything they need on a silver platter. I see them breeze through routine things that are a part of life, while I struggle and agonize over those same things. They probably think the same thing of me, of course. That I live a charmed life in a beautiful house with a great marriage, two cars in the garage, dogs, chickens, a garden, and a Kindle full of e-books. They haven't been inside my head to know the things that I cry over and struggle with, the things that are killing me inside. Things that they would just shrug off and say "Why is that a problem?" Meanwhile, while I'm internalizing everything, I look at them and think, how can you be so blind that you don't care?
The truth is, they can't see fully what's going on with me, all the ways God is working in my life, and I can't see their internal world, and what is truly going on below the surface with them. So to let myself be jealous, or to question when it seems like I carry burdens that no one else does, is to question God's grace. Why does so'n so get more than I do? Why is it so easy for them?
Well, A: It isn't necessarily easier for them. They have struggles and burdens I can't see. B: They might be struggling less because they're obsessing less. Or because they understand more. C: It's none of my business.
Who knows the mind of God? Who can listen to what He whispers into any heart but their own? That thing that you just can't forgive because What's-His-Name just doesn't seem repentant? Well, what "seems" to be going on in his head is none of your business. Your business is to do what Jesus asks of you, namely, forgive. When you gossip about that other friend because she went back to doing that, that's not helping her. That's just ruining someone else's good opinion of her, and who knows if that person to whom you whispered your gossip would have offered some encouragement to your friend that would have helped her, if they hadn't been turned off by your words?
All I'm saying here, is that you and I just don't know enough to make assumptions about whether God is treating someone else better or worse. What we know is what He's told us individually: Follow Me. Love each other, encourage each other, teach each other, even offer correction when necessary, but at the end of the day, you can't change them, and you can't change God, and sometimes questioning His designs for someone else can lead to bitterness and distrust.
On a side note, I've found this really true in my life on a professional basis, with juggling my writing career, waitress job, and homemaking responsibilities. I see other people who seem so much more successful ALL THE TIME, in all of those areas. They're better homemakers, better at pursuing a money making career, or they're living the creative life, publishing books and apparently holding their dreams in their hands.
Dwelling on other peoples' success ALWAYS makes me unhappy and dissatisfied with where I'm at. I wonder: 'What's wrong with me?' 'What am I even doing here?' I'm thirty years old and still a waitress at a small town restaurant. My mother-in-law (and pretty much everyone else) can run circles around me when it comes to keeping things organized, clean, planned, and put together. I read homemaking blogs about menu planning and it makes me see red. I have to remind myself that that's their life. They're living out their own struggles and callings, just like I am. And the things that I've gone through and the things that don't come easy for me, the dreams that I'm still longing for, they make me uniquely me. They make my relationship with my Lord unique. And that makes me a piece of God's puzzle that can't be replaced or duplicated. I'm not like everyone else, and no one else is like me, but we still fit together, and fill a hole no one else could.
Jesus saith unto him, "If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me."
John 21:21,22
In the last chapter of John, Jesus had a talk with Peter, telling him he would become a martyr. John was there as well, following, and that's when Peter turned around and saw him, and asked Jesus what his fate would be. Jesus basically tells Peter to mind his own business.
Ouch, right?
I don't know what Peter's motive was for asking about his friend, whether he was worried about him, or whether he was feeling a little bitter, being told that he'd die a martyr's death. After the episode just a couple chapters back where Peter denied Jesus, right after saying he'd be willing to die for Him, he's probably still pretty contrite, so it seems like a fair guess that Peter's motive for asking was well intentioned. Still, Jesus tells him bluntly not to worry about John, just worry about following Jesus.
When I question other people's lives and wonder how everything seems to come so easy to them, my motives aren't always that good.
I see fellow Christians, and it seems to me that they've been handed everything they need on a silver platter. I see them breeze through routine things that are a part of life, while I struggle and agonize over those same things. They probably think the same thing of me, of course. That I live a charmed life in a beautiful house with a great marriage, two cars in the garage, dogs, chickens, a garden, and a Kindle full of e-books. They haven't been inside my head to know the things that I cry over and struggle with, the things that are killing me inside. Things that they would just shrug off and say "Why is that a problem?" Meanwhile, while I'm internalizing everything, I look at them and think, how can you be so blind that you don't care?
The truth is, they can't see fully what's going on with me, all the ways God is working in my life, and I can't see their internal world, and what is truly going on below the surface with them. So to let myself be jealous, or to question when it seems like I carry burdens that no one else does, is to question God's grace. Why does so'n so get more than I do? Why is it so easy for them?
Well, A: It isn't necessarily easier for them. They have struggles and burdens I can't see. B: They might be struggling less because they're obsessing less. Or because they understand more. C: It's none of my business.
Who knows the mind of God? Who can listen to what He whispers into any heart but their own? That thing that you just can't forgive because What's-His-Name just doesn't seem repentant? Well, what "seems" to be going on in his head is none of your business. Your business is to do what Jesus asks of you, namely, forgive. When you gossip about that other friend because she went back to doing that, that's not helping her. That's just ruining someone else's good opinion of her, and who knows if that person to whom you whispered your gossip would have offered some encouragement to your friend that would have helped her, if they hadn't been turned off by your words?
All I'm saying here, is that you and I just don't know enough to make assumptions about whether God is treating someone else better or worse. What we know is what He's told us individually: Follow Me. Love each other, encourage each other, teach each other, even offer correction when necessary, but at the end of the day, you can't change them, and you can't change God, and sometimes questioning His designs for someone else can lead to bitterness and distrust.
On a side note, I've found this really true in my life on a professional basis, with juggling my writing career, waitress job, and homemaking responsibilities. I see other people who seem so much more successful ALL THE TIME, in all of those areas. They're better homemakers, better at pursuing a money making career, or they're living the creative life, publishing books and apparently holding their dreams in their hands.
Dwelling on other peoples' success ALWAYS makes me unhappy and dissatisfied with where I'm at. I wonder: 'What's wrong with me?' 'What am I even doing here?' I'm thirty years old and still a waitress at a small town restaurant. My mother-in-law (and pretty much everyone else) can run circles around me when it comes to keeping things organized, clean, planned, and put together. I read homemaking blogs about menu planning and it makes me see red. I have to remind myself that that's their life. They're living out their own struggles and callings, just like I am. And the things that I've gone through and the things that don't come easy for me, the dreams that I'm still longing for, they make me uniquely me. They make my relationship with my Lord unique. And that makes me a piece of God's puzzle that can't be replaced or duplicated. I'm not like everyone else, and no one else is like me, but we still fit together, and fill a hole no one else could.
Friday, August 5, 2016
Summer Udates, and New Project
I realize it's been a couple weeks since I've posted anything, but considering it's now August, and garden and canning season is in full swing, I'd say I'm not doing too bad! LOL!
Seriously, there has been so much happening, from starting the year's stocking up on frozen, dehydrated, and canned goods from the garden and farmers' market, to working odd hours at the restaurant, to having three separate batches of chickens to take care of (don't ask!), the summer has been flying by like crazy.
We had a table at this year's Sidewalk Sales event in Honesdale, selling my book, where I was able to show off a first glimpse of my new project, Red Wolf Trilogy. Sadly, the event was pretty much a washout. With temperatures in the HIGH 90s (F) both days, not many people were out. It was disappointing, but still a learning experience. And I'm super excited about this new project. Take a peek at my 'Current Projects' page, where I talk a little more about what it is and how it came to be.
This isn't the official cover or anything, just some promo artwork I had Abby, my partner on Unseen Things, do for the event. Still, I'm pretty in love with it.
I'm aiming to be able to release the first book in the trilogy, Burn, this winter, and with that deadline in mind, I've been pushing really hard at getting through the first draft, which is the main reason blog posts have been slacking. There just isn't enough time to do it all! Still, now that the Sidewalk Sales are behind, and work is going back to normal (at least for the moment!), I'm hoping to get back on schedule. Starting now, of course! Lord willing, next week I'll be putting up the next post in my devotional series.
What kind of crazy things have you all been up to this summer? Any new opportunities?
Seriously, there has been so much happening, from starting the year's stocking up on frozen, dehydrated, and canned goods from the garden and farmers' market, to working odd hours at the restaurant, to having three separate batches of chickens to take care of (don't ask!), the summer has been flying by like crazy.
We had a table at this year's Sidewalk Sales event in Honesdale, selling my book, where I was able to show off a first glimpse of my new project, Red Wolf Trilogy. Sadly, the event was pretty much a washout. With temperatures in the HIGH 90s (F) both days, not many people were out. It was disappointing, but still a learning experience. And I'm super excited about this new project. Take a peek at my 'Current Projects' page, where I talk a little more about what it is and how it came to be.
I'm aiming to be able to release the first book in the trilogy, Burn, this winter, and with that deadline in mind, I've been pushing really hard at getting through the first draft, which is the main reason blog posts have been slacking. There just isn't enough time to do it all! Still, now that the Sidewalk Sales are behind, and work is going back to normal (at least for the moment!), I'm hoping to get back on schedule. Starting now, of course! Lord willing, next week I'll be putting up the next post in my devotional series.
What kind of crazy things have you all been up to this summer? Any new opportunities?
Friday, July 8, 2016
Truth vs. Feeling: Creative Life Devotional Series
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9
The answer of course, in the next verse, is that: "I the Lord search the heart..." And thank goodness for that! At least SOMEONE understands me- and yes- even the bad things!
A long time ago in one of those crazy deep, "Iron sharpeneth iron" conversation I've had with Tiffany (Betrayer's cover artist and creative consultant), I remember her saying something to the effect: God's truth isn't dependent on my feelings."
It's stuck with me ever since.
It's so easy to get caught up in the subjective, the sensory, and the mundane. But it's so true, that God doesn't change. His opinion doesn't change. I might switch moods like changing a pair of shoes, but He remains constant. I might get grumpy because I'm hungry. He doesn't. I might be tired and discouraged, and feel like the future is nothing but bleak, that God doesn't hear, or that He's against me, or even wonder if He exists. But thankfully, I know that none of those things are true. I might feel them, but they are wrapped up in a mood that will pass. God remains eternal, as indelible and unchanging as the laws of the universe He's created. 2+2 will never equal 5, no matter what my opinions are on it. And the same God who designed the mathematical system, the laws of gravity, the musical chords that flow so elegantly in their patterns, who stamped his seal onto our conscience and onto the universe, also revealed Himself in His word.
Everywhere you look now you see the message: Follow your heart.
God says: Your heart will deceive you.
It might feel good to, well, go with a feeling on something. It doesn't feel wrong. How could a loving God condemn me for ... ? Or, conversely: I don't feel loved right now. How could God forgive me for ... ?
In a world where absolutes are frowned upon, and having the "courage" to follow whatever feels right is applauded, it's easy to get comfortable with those ideas. But if you really stop and think about it, that's not a great place to be. That's like saying that traffic laws only apply to everyone else, not to me. So when I run a stop sign and get T-boned by someone because I didn't feel like stopping, who gets hurt? Well, both of us. When we run God's stop signs, it's on just as grand a scale (and even more so, because we're talking eternity here!), and lives can be ruined just as effectively by "following your heart" as by ignoring traffic laws. If I want God to let me off the hook for something because I was having a bad day, but then you come along and hurt my feelings because, because you were having a bad day, then why should God let my sin slide and not yours?
See where I'm going with this? God's truth is absolute. My heart is fickle. Without His truth there would be no stability at all in the world. Nothing to fall back on. The same justice applies to each of us, and each of us is offered the same mercy and forgiveness. I may be grumpy about that at times, but in the end, it's so comforting to know that certain things you can absolutely count on.
I would love to explore this topic so much more. My mind is going crazy with ideas, but since the same 24 hour days apply to me as to everyone else, I'm out of time.
The answer of course, in the next verse, is that: "I the Lord search the heart..." And thank goodness for that! At least SOMEONE understands me- and yes- even the bad things!
A long time ago in one of those crazy deep, "Iron sharpeneth iron" conversation I've had with Tiffany (Betrayer's cover artist and creative consultant), I remember her saying something to the effect: God's truth isn't dependent on my feelings."
It's stuck with me ever since.
It's so easy to get caught up in the subjective, the sensory, and the mundane. But it's so true, that God doesn't change. His opinion doesn't change. I might switch moods like changing a pair of shoes, but He remains constant. I might get grumpy because I'm hungry. He doesn't. I might be tired and discouraged, and feel like the future is nothing but bleak, that God doesn't hear, or that He's against me, or even wonder if He exists. But thankfully, I know that none of those things are true. I might feel them, but they are wrapped up in a mood that will pass. God remains eternal, as indelible and unchanging as the laws of the universe He's created. 2+2 will never equal 5, no matter what my opinions are on it. And the same God who designed the mathematical system, the laws of gravity, the musical chords that flow so elegantly in their patterns, who stamped his seal onto our conscience and onto the universe, also revealed Himself in His word.
Everywhere you look now you see the message: Follow your heart.
God says: Your heart will deceive you.
It might feel good to, well, go with a feeling on something. It doesn't feel wrong. How could a loving God condemn me for ... ? Or, conversely: I don't feel loved right now. How could God forgive me for ... ?
In a world where absolutes are frowned upon, and having the "courage" to follow whatever feels right is applauded, it's easy to get comfortable with those ideas. But if you really stop and think about it, that's not a great place to be. That's like saying that traffic laws only apply to everyone else, not to me. So when I run a stop sign and get T-boned by someone because I didn't feel like stopping, who gets hurt? Well, both of us. When we run God's stop signs, it's on just as grand a scale (and even more so, because we're talking eternity here!), and lives can be ruined just as effectively by "following your heart" as by ignoring traffic laws. If I want God to let me off the hook for something because I was having a bad day, but then you come along and hurt my feelings because, because you were having a bad day, then why should God let my sin slide and not yours?
See where I'm going with this? God's truth is absolute. My heart is fickle. Without His truth there would be no stability at all in the world. Nothing to fall back on. The same justice applies to each of us, and each of us is offered the same mercy and forgiveness. I may be grumpy about that at times, but in the end, it's so comforting to know that certain things you can absolutely count on.
I would love to explore this topic so much more. My mind is going crazy with ideas, but since the same 24 hour days apply to me as to everyone else, I'm out of time.
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