Hobbits vs. Superheroes

I love me some Marvel superheroes. Captain America, Spider-Man, Ant Man, Iron Man (is it just me or do a lot of these end in 'man'? Hmm. A bit sexist perhaps...), they showcase a broad spectrum of heroes, anti-heroes, reluctant heroes, trying their best but still making mistakes heroes...Yep, I'm a geek. And superheroes aren't relegated to the world of Marvel or DC comics any more, either. Seems everyone and their brother-in-law is making stories about heroes with superpowers of some kind, whether they're magic like Harry Potter or mythological like Percy Jackson, or supernatural, like every paranormal romance ever written-- we love our characters extra special. Extra powerful. One in a million. In fact, we love taking it one step further, making our characters the MOST powerful, the MOST special. Fated to save the world. Chosen, prophesied, foretold, fated. It's getting a little clichéd, actually.

Don't get me wrong, I love me a good superhero. An occasional 'chosen one' or 'fated mate' isn't horrible. But go back for a sec to the roots of modern fantasy-- you know who I'm gonna start talking about, right? J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings of course. That all time beloved classic that's been ripped off too many times to count. Every fantasy author wants to write the next LOTR. Do you realize that the entire concept of LOTR is exactly the opposite of the recent superhero/chosen one craze in science-fiction and fantasy? It's up to two lowly hobbits, Frodo and Sam, to find their way into Mordor and save the world. They're the least of all the companions. Not wizards, not warriors, not mystical elves or mighty dwarves. They're the weakest, the least educated, the least experienced, the most unlikely of heroes. Many times I'll pick up a new fantasy book about a supposed unlikely hero who then goes on to discover unique abilities, or exceptional gifts that he or she has. They aren't all that unlikely, actually. They end up with something no one else has got. Not so for the hobbits. It could be said that their only superpower is the willingness to keep moving forward when all hope is lost, when their quest seems like a suicide mission.

And wow, does everyone love those hobbits. For all that they're weak and pathetic, they're some of the most celebrated heroes of literature. I guess it got me wondering, What happened to all the underdogs? Why is it that to be cool anymore in your speculative fiction, you have to be super-extra-powerful-special-chosen? Frodo and Sam were chosen, in a way. But they weren't imbued with special abilities-- only with enough grace- barely- to make it through their mission. Plus they had some cool friends. And oh how they made our hearts sing!

So that all got me thinking about those verses in 1 Corinthians chapter 1, (quoting from the NKJV) "For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things that are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence...that, as it is written, 'he who glories, let him glory in the Lord.'"

I love that just so much.

Sure, I love a good superhero. But it's so comforting to know that even a hobbit can save the world, and that you don't have to be extra-super-powerful-mighty to be loved and chosen by God. He delights in using the weak ones to accomplish great things. And when you're struggling with whatever burdens or stressful things you've got in your life, and maybe you're like me and you have days where it feels like World War Three just to make it till bed time in one piece, well, it makes the victory that much sweeter when you do accomplish that great thing. Or when you make it to the end of a rough day and by God's grace, you've got your family fed, the dogs are still alive, and you even managed to smile once or twice. It was a close thing, but, dang it all, you did it with no superpower other than grace. I think that qualifies you as being EPIC.

The Art of Celebrating Christmas

Greetings, dear reader!

What was that? Did I hear a groan of disgust from one of you? Don't say the C-word until after Thanksgiving? Is that what I hear you complaining about? Well bah, humbug to you too! Just consider yourself lucky that I was being nice and waited until after Halloween to post this! Christmas has been going of for weeks already here.

"But why?" you say. "Isn't it bad enough that everyone's already pulling out the Christmas merchandise and commercials? Do we really have to hear it from you now, too? Why so much fuss over one day?"

Well, I'm just so glad you asked. Mwahahahahaaaaaaa.

Ok, ok, I'll admit, I'm not super crazy about the commercialism that hounds us this time of year. The cheepo Santa Clause crap that pops up everywhere. The pressure of spending too much money for stuff that no one really needs. If that's what you're bemoaning, then I'm right there with you, friend. Cause that ain't Christmas!

Christmas isn't a day. Not just a day that we spend weeks preparing for just so we can suffer that inevitable afternoon letdown once the gifts are opened and the meal is eaten and we're faced with a week's worth of dirty dishes, loose wrapping paper, fallen pine needles, and sugar-crazed chaos. Just, no. Christmas is a season. It's a celebration. Don't ever forget that. Don't let it become "Gone Bankrupt Day" like Thanksgiving has turned into "Turkey Day."

Think about it: midwinter just hit. It's dark. It's cold. The worst of winter is yet to come. The winter solstice welcomes in the DARKEST days of the year. And get this-- before Christmas-- that is, before Christ's birth-- the world was lost in that same kind of all-consuming darkness, without hope. I mean, really, what kind of hope did they have? Without any of the things we take for granted now, amenities like, for most of those who will be reading this, modern medicine, food, warmth, dreams and ambitions, the freedom to pursue any path toward happiness that we choose, the hope of heaven, for those who follow Jesus, and the comfort that comes with that, of knowing that this world is the worst thing we'll ever have to see. Before Christmas, things were just getting darker. Then Christ came.

Christmas is a celebration of Light. Or didn't you ever stop to think about those millions of feet of sparkly, twinkly lights that go up every year, and what kind of a statement they're supposed to make? The winter solstice is past, and now, no matter how cold the winter gets, light is coming. Spring is coming. It's not going to get any darker. And Christ, the Light of the World, has come. We have hope.

Ain't anybody gonna tell me I have to wait till after Thanksgiving to celebrate that!

So when October hits, and the days get noticeably shorter, and the nights get a whole lot colder, I start looking toward Christmas, and thinking about light. I could wax poetic-- literally (as evidenced by the poem at the top of the post)-- but I won't. At least not too much. But when I was growing up, Christmas was an EVENT. It started in August, during fair season, and involved lots of evenings listening to Christmas music and stories while working on projects. There were lots of horrible, childish crafts that I was so proud of, and lots of things I still love to do. Painted pinecones and wooden ornaments, lovingly set aside to be hung on the tree. Handmade gifts, designed and crafted especially with that one person in mind. Evenings when all but the Christmas lights would be turned off, and instrumental Christmas music turned on (Manheim Steamroller has always been a favorite), and you can just bask in the peace and the beauty and let your imagination follow the music and create stories and scenes that it brings to mind.

Maybe because we were poor, it was always a really big deal to go Christmas shopping. When you only have a very limited budget to spend on it, it becomes a treasure hunt of the first order, patching together bought items with homemade items, looking for a great deal on some fun little thing. When did buying the latest electronic gadget equal happiness? Please. There is an art to Christmas shopping, and it doesn't involve gaming systems or smartphones. Were some of our gifts a little corny? Absolutely. But they made the best memories. They meant everything, both to the person giving and the person receiving, because they had character. They had careful thought put into them. They weren't just an obligation. They were an expression of love-- just like the gift of Jesus.

So please, I beg you, as soon as humanly possible, drop everything and make some hot spiced cider. Put on some carols. Turn off the screens and just be still. Think about the people who mean the most to you, and how you could express that. Most of the time, the best way to do that doesn't involve much money at all. Christmas isn't a competition for who spent the most. It's a celebration of light, and all the people who bring light into our lives. It's isn't an obligation, it's an opportunity.

Here's to wishing you all a very long and satisfying holiday season! I would LOVE to hear about special Christmas quirks and traditions you or your family has. Or Thanksgiving, for that matter! And don't count on this being the last and only Christmas flavored post you'll be getting from me. I'm a bit holiday happy. LOL

Praying for Hollywood

Hello, my lovelies!

I realize it's been a while since I've posted--again. Don't know about you, but summer always seems to get away from me. But there's always one thing for certain, as I warned a friend recently...with absence of words comes a multitude of thoughts. So much so that I never know how to even begin to sort them out. But as I was re-writing my 'about' page a few weeks ago, especially the part about the importance of storytelling, I kept thinking so much about the entertainment industry, and how... all consuming it's become.

I often wonder about American Christians in general, and myself in particular, when it comes to our entertainment diet. Everyone draws the line in a different place when it comes to our standards, and what we deem as okay in movies or books, or what we are willing to put up with for the sake of a good story. How much filth is ok? Or is it all just a matter of what you've worked out with your conscience? Is entertainment so important that we're willing to watch or listen to people who hate Christ and everything that Christianity stands for trample on our beliefs and the name of our God? How does that fit in with our calling to be holy? Should we really be partaking of any secular entertainment at all? Yet on the other hand, stories ARE important. There are many times that I've been more touched by a spiritual truth from watching a secular movie than I have from reading a Christian book. Even if they did cuss a lot. There are several rabbit trails that my brain wants to latch onto just with that statement, but I'll maybe come back to them a different day. The point is, Christians are being influenced by media and entertainment just as much as the rest of the world, and I certainly don't have all the answers to all the questions I've been asking.

Lately, it seems like, I keep hearing so much in Christian circles about praying for America, praying for our politicians, praying for revival, praying for this coming generation, praying for our missionaries. All good things. Go ahead and pray about politics-- that's a good thing. But it isn't politicians that are leading this country around by the nose. It's Hollywood. Is anyone praying for them? And I don't mean the independent Christian movie makers that are finding their niche in the Christian community. I mean mainstream Hollywood. Is anyone bothering to pray for them? Or what about the Christians who are working there? It can't be easy trying to follow Jesus in an industry that delights in scorning Him, and anyone who believes in Him. Sure, there are a few top stars that claim to be Christians... but they didn't get where they are by starring in low-budget, indie, faith-based films. Sometimes I wonder how much of a Christian you can be when half your movies are rated R. But it's not my industry. I don't know what may or may not go on behind the scenes, or how much influence they could have, if they tried, or how much influence they try to have. I can't judge, because I'm not there. It's not my spiritual journey, it's there's. And they get judged for it, from both sides. Is anyone bothering to pray for them? Just asking.

A friend and I were discussing this the other day, and how she was feeling called to pray for one celebrity in particular, and it just sort of stoked the firestorm of thought I'd already been mulling over. This is important. I need to pray for our entertainment industry. Whether its a specific person, or the body of Christ there, or just a general turning of the tide. I'm praying for them. Think about it.

Intentional and Unconditional: Creative Life Devotional Series.

     For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

     I like the way the NKJV puts it: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

     By way of disclaimer, I have to admit I'm not super polished up on my studies in Jeremiah. Basically it's back and forth, warning of God's judgement, but promising to bless and restore, if only God's people will come back to Him. There's such a sense of longing woven throughout the books of the prophets. How deeply and passionately God longs to lavish blessing on His nation, if only they would turn back and seek Him.
     I've had my share of floundering in doubt, fear, worry, depression and frustration. It always seems to cycle back. So lately I've been praying intentionally, seeking to know God, and His perfect love which supposedly casts out fear. How does one go about acquiring it? One of the things He's brought to my attention was this verse, and it's profound, far-reaching implications.

     The English word for love is a little stilted. It's a one-size-fits-all label to include all the aspects that love can have. But the most powerful, most profound, and probably the most misunderstood form of love, (what Bible people call Agape), is what's called 'unconditional love.' Has a nice sound, no? To be loved unconditionally. No matter what I do, how I mess up or offend or even lash out at the giver, to be loved no matter what. Everyone together now with a big "AWWWW." But it's much more than that. Not only is this love not depended on the condition of the receiver- it's also independent from the condition of the giver. To love someone unconditionally means that you love them even when you don't feel love. Or like. Or even toleration. It mean that you love them even when you hate their guts.
     So if unconditional love doesn't involve a feeling, what does it involve?
     It's all about actions. Treating the person you love unconditionally as though you love them, even when you don't. Looking out for their best interest, even when they're walking all over you. Training yourself to think the best toward and about them that you possibly can. It's wishing, hoping, planning and praying for the best possible outcome of that person's future. But not stopping at "wishing them well," either. Putting feet to that wish. Striving to make it happen by whatever resources you have.

     I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord.

     The God of the universe has bent His thoughts toward me. Not only to wish me good luck, but to plot and to scheme for my best possible future. Even when I mess up horribly- which, being human, is pretty much my entire life- He still is going to do whatever it takes to see those plans happen.
     That's pretty great, but it's not all. Think about this. The God who arranges molecules not only is working on a plan for my future, He's taken pains to carefully and purposefully think that future through. And because He knows all about everything, He can take into account every detail of my hopes, dreams, personality, and passion. He has figured out exactly what the best thing for me will look like.
     That's what God's thoughts are toward each of His people. To give peace, hope, and a future. But we're supposed to be reflecting that toward each other, as well. How many times have you or I prayed "Lord, please bless so-n-so," without bothering to give much thought toward what that blessing could look like. We aren't omniscient like He is, but we can still respond with the knowledge that we have, no matter how small it is- imagining, then praying, then, if circumstances allow, acting upon, that resolution to seek the very best for another person.  Make an intellectual, creative investment in them. Spend some of your precious time wishing, planning, and praying for their wellbeing. After all, that's what God does for you.
     Trying to act out that unconditional love toward another Christian isn't just what we're commanded to do, though. It gives us an idea of the effort God is putting into us. Only His is on a vast scale. Trying to act out God's love for me toward my friend gives me a better grip on the concrete reality of His love. It brings it out of the sphere of theology and philosophy (in my head I know that God says He loves me), and puts it into the realm of the physical (I can touch, see, feel, and experience it).
     If I can, in my imperfection and minuscule scope of knowledge and influence, genuinely wish and seek the best for someone through prayer and actions... then how much more capable is God, who went so far as to die for my soul,  of carrying out His greatest ideas for me?

Minding Your Own Business: Creative Life Devotional Series

     Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, "Lord, and what will this man do?"
     Jesus saith unto him, "If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me."
     John 21:21,22

     In the last chapter of John, Jesus had a talk with Peter, telling him he would become a martyr. John was there as well, following, and that's when Peter turned around and saw him, and asked Jesus what his fate would be. Jesus basically tells Peter to mind his own business.
     Ouch, right?
     I don't know what Peter's motive was for asking about his friend, whether he was worried about him, or whether he was feeling a little bitter, being told that he'd die a martyr's death. After the episode just a couple chapters back where Peter denied Jesus, right after saying he'd be willing to die for Him, he's probably still pretty contrite, so it seems like a fair guess that Peter's motive for asking was well intentioned. Still, Jesus tells him bluntly not to worry about John, just worry about following Jesus.
     When I question other people's lives and wonder how everything seems to come so easy to them, my motives aren't always that good.
     I see fellow Christians, and it seems to me that they've been handed everything they need on a silver platter. I see them breeze through routine things that are a part of life, while I struggle and agonize over those same things. They probably think the same thing of me, of course. That I live a charmed life in a beautiful house with a great marriage, two cars in the garage, dogs, chickens, a garden, and a Kindle full of e-books. They haven't been inside my head to know the things that I cry over and struggle with, the things that are killing me inside. Things that they would just shrug off and say "Why is that a problem?" Meanwhile, while I'm internalizing everything, I look at them and think, how can you be so blind that you don't care?
     The truth is, they can't see fully what's going on with me, all the ways God is working in my life, and I can't see their internal world, and what is truly going on below the surface with them. So to let myself be jealous, or to question when it seems like I carry burdens that no one else does, is to question God's grace. Why does so'n so get more than I do? Why is it so easy for them?
     Well, A: It isn't necessarily easier for them. They have struggles and burdens I can't see. B: They might be struggling less because they're obsessing less. Or because they understand more. C: It's none of my business.
      Who knows the mind of God? Who can listen to what He whispers into any heart but their own? That thing that you just can't forgive because What's-His-Name just doesn't seem repentant? Well, what "seems" to be going on in his head is none of your business. Your business is to do what Jesus asks of you, namely, forgive. When you gossip about that other friend because she went back to doing that, that's not helping her. That's just ruining someone else's good opinion of her, and who knows if that person to whom you whispered your gossip would have offered some encouragement to your friend that would have helped her, if they hadn't been turned off by your words?
     All I'm saying here, is that you and I just don't know enough to make assumptions about whether God is treating someone else better or worse. What we know is what He's told us individually: Follow Me. Love each other, encourage each other, teach each other, even offer correction when necessary, but at the end of the day, you can't change them, and you can't change God, and sometimes questioning His designs for someone else can lead to bitterness and distrust.

     On a side note, I've found this really true in my life on a professional basis, with juggling my writing career, waitress job, and homemaking responsibilities. I see other people who seem so much more successful ALL THE TIME, in all of those areas. They're better homemakers, better at pursuing a money making career, or they're living the creative life, publishing books and apparently holding their dreams in their hands.
     Dwelling on other peoples' success ALWAYS makes me unhappy and dissatisfied with where I'm at. I wonder: 'What's wrong with me?' 'What am I even doing here?' I'm thirty years old and still a waitress at a small town restaurant. My mother-in-law (and pretty much everyone else) can run circles around me when it comes to keeping things organized, clean, planned, and put together. I read homemaking blogs about menu planning and it makes me see red. I have to remind myself that that's their life. They're living out their own struggles and callings, just like I am. And the things that I've gone through and the things that don't come easy for me, the dreams that I'm still longing for, they make me uniquely me. They make my relationship with my Lord unique. And that makes me a piece of God's puzzle that can't be replaced or duplicated. I'm not like everyone else, and no one else is like me, but we still fit together, and fill a hole no one else could.

Truth vs. Feeling: Creative Life Devotional Series

       The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

       The answer of course, in the next verse, is that: "I the Lord search the heart..." And thank goodness for that! At least SOMEONE understands me- and yes- even the bad things!

       A long time ago in one of those crazy deep, "Iron sharpeneth iron" conversation I've had with Tiffany (Betrayer's cover artist and creative consultant), I remember her saying something to the effect: God's truth isn't dependent on my feelings."
       It's stuck with me ever since.
       It's so easy to get caught up in the subjective, the sensory, and the mundane. But it's so true, that God doesn't change. His opinion doesn't change. I might switch moods like changing a pair of shoes, but He remains constant. I might get grumpy because I'm hungry. He doesn't. I might be tired and discouraged, and feel like the future is nothing but bleak, that God doesn't hear, or that He's against me, or even wonder if He exists. But thankfully, I know that none of those things are true. I might feel them, but they are wrapped up in a mood that will pass. God remains eternal, as indelible and unchanging as the laws of the universe He's created. 2+2 will never equal 5, no matter what my opinions are on it. And the same God who designed the mathematical system, the laws of gravity, the musical chords that flow so elegantly in their patterns, who stamped his seal onto our conscience and onto the universe, also revealed Himself in His word.
       Everywhere you look now you see the message: Follow your heart.
       God says: Your heart will deceive you.
       It might feel good to, well, go with a feeling on something. It doesn't feel wrong. How could a loving God condemn me for ... ? Or, conversely: I don't feel loved right now. How could God forgive me for ... ?
       In a world where absolutes are frowned upon, and having the "courage" to follow whatever feels right is applauded, it's easy to get comfortable with those ideas. But if you really stop and think about it, that's not a great place to be. That's like saying that traffic laws only apply to everyone else, not to me. So when I run a stop sign and get T-boned by someone because I didn't feel like stopping, who gets hurt? Well, both of us. When we run God's stop signs, it's on just as grand a scale (and even more so, because we're talking eternity here!), and lives can be ruined just as effectively by "following your heart" as by ignoring traffic laws. If I want God to let me off the hook for something because I was having a bad day, but then you come along and hurt my feelings because, because you were having a bad day, then why should God let my sin slide and not yours?
       See where I'm going with this? God's truth is absolute. My heart is fickle. Without His truth there would be no stability at all in the world. Nothing to fall back on. The same justice applies to each of us, and each of us is offered the same mercy and forgiveness. I may be grumpy about that at times, but in the end, it's so comforting to know that certain things you can absolutely count on.
    
I would love to explore this topic so much more. My mind is going crazy with ideas, but since the same 24 hour days apply to me as to everyone else, I'm out of time.

Deny Yourself: Creative Life Devotional Series

     Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."

     This is comes from a great little section of verses: "whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it..." and "what is a man profited if he gain the whole word, and lose his own soul?" Hopefully at some point I'll be able to take a look at all of them together, with their soul shattering message of all-or-nothing commitment to Jesus. But what jumped out at me recently was the first part of verse 24: "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself..."
     The verse sort of builds on itself as it goes. "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself." He has to throw away his own desires. But on top of that, he also has to "take up his cross." Denying yourself pretty much sounds like torture most of the time. So go ahead and pick up that instrument of torture and death. But don't just pick it up. Start walking. "Follow me," the verse says next. Follow Jesus right to Calvary and die to yourself-- for the rest of your life.
     Am I the only one that kind of hates this verse a good share of the time?
      But let me back up to that part about denying yourself again. It always gets tossed in with the rest like an unpleasant grocery list; deny yourself, take up your cross, follow me...we get it. It's a concept as serious as death. Following Jesus is always a matter of life or death. But there's more to it than just the common conception of denying what you want, what makes you happy, to be miserable and religious--ahem--I mean sober and faithful. We usually think of denying ourselves things or activities that might be sinful, or unprofitable. But what about denying our selves?
     When I think of myself I think generally of my whole being. My body, spirit, heart and mind. All the thoughts and emotions and habits and patterns that make up who I truly am. It's a hot mess of good intentions and evil motivations. Desiring to follow Jesus and failing to do so, and all the while continuing with the habits and thought patterns that feed my identity. What if it's that self that Jesus wants us to deny? Not just the things we do, like what we wish we could have said to so 'n so, or that movie we really wanted to see but conscience wouldn't let us. What if it's the very things that make up who we are that need denying?
     For instance: fear. The things you fear contribute to who you are. Do you fear failure? Death? Sickness? I've struggled with fear issues SO much. And those fears inevitably take my eyes off Jesus. Rather than determine to do whatever I can to prevent whatever it is from happening, and then leaving it to God, I'll obsess over it, dwell on it. Let it make me doubt my Lord's goodness and love. When it HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET. Get my drift here? Deny that part of yourself. Don't give it room to take over.
     What about more religiously acceptable things that imbed themselves in the way we view the world and God? Like guilt. Somehow wallowing it your own inadequacy instead of moving on can become our go-to response for when we mess up. But it's not a Biblical response.
     Depression. If you've spent any time being depressed, you know it can be really hard to get away from (and I'm talking here about regular old depression, not major mental illnesses, cause I know what a chemical imbalance in the brain can do). But sometimes, in a weird kind of a way, it feels good too. We can tie ourselves up in this straight jacket and moan about the bad things that are going to happen, or that have already happened to us, and we know that while we're all tied up we can't even try to do anything. It's too hard to get out of it and make a move to fix the problem, or to fix your attitude about the problem (which is often the bigger problem in itself). But again, that WILL get between you and Jesus. Even if you've been wallowing so much that it seems like part of your identity.

You can't get rid of an emotion with a snap of your fingers. But you can choose not to let it rule you.

     The list could go on and on. If you've got a tenacious personality, you might struggle with bitterness or obsessions (even if they're for something good). If you just really want to fix people and things, you could have a weakness to nag. If you've been a good little Christian all your life, you might be subconsciously proud of that. If you're going through a tough phase, you might get jealous of that person who looks like they have it all together. If you're a creative dreamer like me, you get so wrapped up in your plans, in your own beautiful imaginary worlds, that they can get a strangle hold on your life.
     "Follow me," Jesus says. Frankly, there's no way to remember every moment of every day, for every thought or attitude that pops up, to filter it through self-denial. But follow Jesus. 'Cause something really cool happens when you take your attention off yourself and put it on Him. All those good things start to happen automatically. They will still need conscious effort a lot of the time. But the more space you make for Jesus, the less room you have for yourself. And that's super freeing.

Once you start letting things go and giving them to Him, it becomes less like dying, and more like living.

     I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

     For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 16:25